Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
