We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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