That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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