Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
