The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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