I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
