I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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