You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I could make wine with my vomit
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just had sex on a roof
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
