I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
