Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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