I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
