This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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