they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
