we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
