Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
