Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Everything about him screamed your future.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
