Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
