a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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