look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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