I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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