I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
