so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
