I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
