I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
is that a dick in a sweater?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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