She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
