Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
