I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also, beer. Big fan.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
