He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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