Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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