grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
oh god the rape fog is back!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
