for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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