My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
