am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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