The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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