the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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