Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize