he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
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It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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