would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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