did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
