hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
