HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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