Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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