I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize