yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
