Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
