Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
