i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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