I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
