grandma shit on top of the toilet
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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