I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize