dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
