so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
