doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He? As in you personified your dick?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
