I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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