dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize
