i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
