we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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