I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
