is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
