So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
