Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
