hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Boobs are out for the taking
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
