the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How naked do you want me to be?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
