Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
