belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
