you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
